Bending Backward

I started yoga teacher training a week ago, and in that time I've started to realize how much I carry with me. All the stress from years of playing an instrument as a college and graduate student is stored in my body- and not just the physical stress of playing, but the mental stress of having to be perfect all the time. I felt like it was stored in my shoulders and hips and middle back, but yesterday I felt like it was in my spine.

We were working on bending backward without compressing the lower back, and it was very hard for me (and frustrating!). My lower back wanted to cave in, but my upper back refused to bend. Making sure my knees weren't locked helped, but I still had to fold forward every few minutes to undo the compression in my lower back.

I don't want this experience to just be about the physical body, which is why I'm so glad I found the teacher and studio that I did. Mentally, I'm frustrated at my frustration with backbends (if that makes sense). I tried not to let it show in class too much, but inside I was so upset about my body's seeming inability to bend that way. My first thought was that I'll just avoid that pose in my own practice, but I know that's not the right answer... I guess this will be a good exercise (no pun intended) in learning a new skill without letting myself get crazy about it!