Moving On Up

When I started teacher training, we wrote a list of goals and put them into an envelope. We get them back when we graduate. I love that idea- it's like a time capsule of goals and emotions. I don't remember too much of what I wrote on my card, but I know I was really unhappy when I wrote it. I was in the midst of my blah job and really wishing I was back where I feel like I belong- in school or in a teaching situation. Or out of Boston. You know, whatever.

I know some things have changed. I may not be one hundred percent out of my rut, but I know I'm making progress. Some of the more expensive progress came in the form of the $160 charge on my card for the GRE.

Sherman used to say that he only advised students to go into music if they didn't have a choice. That is, if they absolutely couldn't see any road ahead of them except for music, if music was their only option aside from desperate unhappiness, then music was a good idea.

I haven't been the most driven person in the last few years, and I know that. I haven't even come close to what I feel I could potentially do. It's hard to be in your twenties and getting ready to enter a PhD or DMA program (hopefully!), without any promise that you'll have a job when you exit. I don't think this was the case forty (or even twenty) years ago. But I want to do what I want to do, and I can't see myself doing anything else with or in my life.

So this time, I'm ready.

I feel like I've been failing at yoga lately. Things have been hectic with the move and the upcoming trip to Denver (which we knew was right around the corner, but we're leaving tomorrow...), and when the classes don't fit my schedule, I haven't been practicing on my own. It makes everything sort of worthless when you practice intensely, but only a couple of days a week.

I wonder how much more I could get out of yoga (or... you know... life) if I put more in?