Habit

Habit is a funny word, isn't it? The first definition that pops into my head is actually the nun's habit. When I was little and we used to take walks in the seminary down the street, sometimes we'd see nuns walking around and my dad would always say "hello, sister" very politely, like he was a kid in Catholic school. Their habits, all black with white around the face and neck and a cross hanging down, made them look otherworldly and untouchable.

Supposedly it takes six weeks to change a habit (not a nun's habit- I'm sure you could change that in five minutes). I'm always frustrated with myself when I try to change something. I feel like I make it a few days, then slip. Then maybe I have a couple more good days before I slip again. This hasn't always been the case (I became a vegetarian successfully almost three years ago), but I struggle with making and breaking habits all over the place in my life.

I know it's because I over-think things. I'll be intending to practice, but won't be sure that I want to apply to DMA programs, so I'll put it off... and in my uncertainty, I don't get anything done. I wish most of the time that I could just turn off my brain and live, maybe, in a state of perpetual hangover. If I didn't ask "why?" all the time, maybe I'd just do things, go for things, stop selling myself short. Maybe then I could get through more than a few days and actually make a habit.

Maybe, though, it's just a different way of looking at it. If I were a nun, I wouldn't think "I have to wear this stupid piece of clothing again?! Why? Do I even believe in everything this stands for?" Rather, I'd want to think "This habit elevates me as a person. It removes me from a lot of harmful things and brings me closer to the divinity that I'm seeking. Even if it's the same old thing I put on every day, of course I want to wear it."

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra

This mantra is addressed to the trinity of Hinduism, composed of Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the preserver) and Shiva (the destroyer). The mantra comes from the Rigveda, a collection of scriptures about 4000 or so years old. I'm a latecomer to the scene as I learned it yesterday.

Om tryambakaṃ yajāmahe sugandhiṃ puṣṭi-vardhanam

urvārukam iva bandhanān mṛtyor mukṣīya māmṛtāt

Some interesting translations (note to self: learn Sansrit):

We meditate on the Three-eyed reality which nourishes and increases the sweet fullness of life. Like a cucumber from its stem may we be separated ("liberated"), not from immortality but from death.

We Meditate on the Three-eyed reality

Which permeates and nourishes all like a fragrance.

May we be liberated from death for the sake of immortality,

Even as the cucumber is severed from bondage to the creeper.

We worship the Three-eyed One who is fragrant, immensely merciful and who is the Protector of the devotees. May he liberate us from death for the sake of immortality, Even as the cucumber is severed from bondage to the creeper.